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I am four years old.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008. I was sitting on my red leather sofa; it was well after midnight. I was re-reading Catch-22 as if that would give me some sort of insight into life I had forgotten about. The man that left twelve hours ago to get an oil change? Or perhaps the man I married only a few years ago? As I pondered these fleeing thoughts, the rattle of the door to the house shook me back to reality. His eyes were too glassy to be sober.

I still, even in my sixties, struggle with trying to understand him. Drinking brought out the worst in him. I try very hard to find the best. It is what I really would like to remember after all. My grandfather and uncles in the back row. Eventually that yard had a lemon .